a novel by JOHN GRABOWSKI

How many celebrities have you met? Perhaps more than you think…

Most people think they’ve either never met a celebrity, or know it if they have.

They’re probably wrong.

Celebrities are masters at moving among us undetected.  They can appear and disappear before you even know what happened.  You may have talked to them.  You may have even asked them if they were so-and-so and they said no.  One celebrity is famous for lying while not actually telling a lie.  If you ask her if she’s who she is, she’ll just smile and say, “I get that a lot.”  She gets that a lot because that’s who she is, but she doesn’t mention that part.

They’re better at disguises than a spy.  They have to be, and it’s not just because they want to slip in and out of the best clubs and restaurants undisturbed, or get the best table or courtside seats.  In some dark instances, their lives literally can depend on it.

So celebs have disguises.  Or rather, they just often go out into the world with their “normal” look.  If you could see half your favorites with no makeup and their hair down, you’d be amazed how ordinary or even sub-par they look.  (Cameron Diaz and Gwyneth Paltrow, for example, have bad skin.)

But others aren’t so lucky.  Could you do anything to Jennifer Aniston where she wouldn’t look like Jennifer Aniston?  Ditto, say, Tom Cruise.  Or Oprah.  When do you think the last time was Oprah was inside a Starbucks (just to get coffee, I mean; not on some publicity maneuver)?  Maybe never, because she largely rose to prominence before the chain did.  To avoid being seen in their characteristic look, many celebs dress down, and I mean way down.  For others, however, this is impossible.

A really despicable internet magazine, whose name now escapes me, did a piece once where it set one of its reporters out to stalk Claire Danes.  The reporter was able to get within feet of Ms. Danes, which should be expected as the actress did not know she was being stalked.  Why the reporter thought this was some great achievement I do not know.  At the same time later in the story when the reporter was looking for Ms. Danes right in front of her apartment, she was able to slip right past unnoticed.  Score one for Claire!

Of course there are some celebrities who want to be noticed, all the while vehemently pretending they don’t.  I have to wonder why the aforementioned Claire “I-Want-My-Privacy” Danes has herself listed in the New York White Pages.  (Don’t believe me?  Just enter her name.)  Back in the 70s, Woody Allen was famous for pretending to not want to be recognized while simultaneously telling everyone how to find him: his public name, Max, was revealed in the movie Annie Hall.   He drove around in a chauffeured white Rolls Royce. (“It was yellow,” he corrected a journalist in an interview once.  Oh, that makes all the difference.)  Still, even celebs who play fast and loose with their identity know how to draw the line.  You’ll notice Claire’s address is listed, but her phone number is not.

I frequent a coffee shop not far from my home in the East Bay, near San Francisco.  A while ago I was told a TV was being filmed nearby, and many of the stars were coming in for coffee.  “When?” I asked.  “All the time!  You were just behind two of them.”  I wonder how many other times the person in line with me, in the hoodie with the disheveled hair and sunglasses, was a famous celebrity.  I’ll never know–and they engineered it that way.

Have you ever met any celebrities?  Tell us all about it in the comments section!  The person with the best story gets a free copy of Entertaining Welsey Shaw when it comes out.

Advertisements

3 responses

  1. Dana

    I took my husband to a Broadway show a couple of years ago, and somehow we managed to get tickets for the night of an annual fund raiser where members of the cast were in the lobby. He was able to stare face to face with his favorite thespian and chat with her…do I get a free book now?

    Like

    March 1, 2010 at 10:06 am

    • Fine print: Family members not eligible for promotion. Void where prohibited by law. Under 18 requires signature of parent or guardian.

      Like

      March 1, 2010 at 11:11 am

  2. But it was a night I’ll never forget. I did enjoy meeting that thespian.

    Like

    February 6, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s