a novel by JOHN GRABOWSKI

Kaley Cuoco’s divorce

Cuoco-Sweeting

“We are totally getting divorced, can’t you tell!!?!” Big Bang Theory star Kaley Cuoco posted online, in response to talk that’s been swirling since…well, she got married 15 months ago. She also felt obliged to post these pics.

There have been dozens and dozens of reports that Cuoco and tennis hubby Ryan Sweeting are headed for splitsville or have already racked up miles there. There’s only one small problem: there’s more proof that bigfoot exists than there is that team Cuoco-Sweeting is kaput.

Yet the reports keep coming. The mystery is why. Why do so many people seemingly want to see these two hit the rocks?

But it’s no mystery. That’s the way fame works: the paps love to build stars up, only to tear them down. There’s nothing the media hates more than a celeb with a drama-free life, which Cuoco seems to have. She’s happy, she’s popular with her cast mates, she’s having a great career, she hasn’t shaved her head, shoplifted, trashed her car or gone on a drunken tear. So if there’s no problems, someone will invent them.

That’s the double-edge of fame. Stars need the press to build it up. But as soon as the buildup is finished, the tear-down begins. Because nobody clicks on a link or buys a magazine that says “Everything’s fine with this celeb!”

Welsey Shaw sure knows this, and she has a love-hate relationship with the paparazzi because of it. She refuses them interviews. She avoids them like the plague. And so they crucify her. She’s a bitch. She’s snotty and pampered. Give the photographers no attention and you risk even worse treatment than if you do. Or at least she does.

Celebrities are in a double-bind because, since they are what the law calls “public figures.” people who thrust themselves into the spotlight. Because of this they are legally entitled to a lower-level of privacy and protection than you and me. Some states, like Hawaii, have recently moved to give public figures greater protection, but for most of the rest of the world they are still fair game.

As for Kaley, perhaps her marriage is on the rocks. But at the moment there’s no evidence of it. That won’t stop the gossip, however. Apparently, with celebrities, where there’s not smoke, there must be fire.

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